HOW DEEP IS THEIR LOVE FOR YOUR PARTNER Written by Counselor Adofoli
The man or woman you are dating or in a relationship with, will he or she still love you if they knew everything about you? Will they still treat you as they do now if they knew everything about you? Will their feelings or intentions for you change if they knew every detail about your past? The answer to such a question tells how much or how deep they love you.
It is amazing when you start a new relationship and your partner wants to know everything about you. Men especially do that. He claims he loves you, you are his world, the mother of his unborn children, his wife for life and the next thing is, they are so much interested in your past, wanting to know every detail.
Your refusal to tell them your past makes them feel you are hiding something from them which is not always the case. What these men miss is that you don’t trust them that much to share such details with them.
To some, the number of relationships you were into or number of men you slept with before they met you determines if you are going to be a good woman or wife to him or not. A man who thinks like that, has insecurity and is not the right man for you. Such a man does not love you.
The question is, what attracted you to him in the first place? What made him profess love for you? When to him, what makes a good wife is your past, meanwhile at the time of proposal he didn’t know your past. It is obvious he was lying to you. Lots of ladies fall for such scam of love.
Some ladies are so desperate, broken hearted, and think the best way to prevent the boyfriend from treating her the way her Ex did was to tell him her past. To her, that will give him an idea of where she is coming from so he won’t take her to the same place or do same.
Some are filled with fears wondering, “‘what if I don’t tell him and someone else does,’ ‘I think I might lose him. So the best thing is to tell him and believe that will make him trust me, love and cherished me’”. But the sad part is when they have issues and this man starts to use the past against her.
Telling your spouse the past is not the worst thing to do, but please do that when you know you are safe with them and trust each other, and are not willing to let go the relationship no matter what. Don’t do it when you barely meet or know each other. If he leaves because you didn’t tell him the past or they got to know it later, they does not loves you.
Become best friends before you share each other’s past. The one who loves you does not judge you based on your past. He protects you and never uses your past against you. They are not insecure because of your past but understand where you are coming from and do their best to appreciate you and help you to become better.
Don’t stay in a relationship where your supposed lover or partner uses your past against you. Such a person does not appreciate you and won’t know your value, and for that matter, they don’t love you. It is not the duty of anyone to change you or your past because you are in relationship with them. They are in your life to build the future with you, if their focus is on the past which is gone then such a person has no place in your future.
You are not perfect, you are not the best, but one thing is for sure, you are trying your best and you need someone who will support you, encourage you and appreciate you. Not someone who brings you down.
You are safe with someone who knows your horrible past, but each time they look at you, they see “our future”, because of that they protect your past. Such a person is the one who truly loves us. God knows all our secrets and past but He still loves us, He still protects and Cares for us. That is why we are safe with Him. He does all that because He loves us.
In conclusion, “But I, yes I, am the one who takes care of your sins—that’s what I do. I don’t keep a list of your sins” Isaiah 43:25 (MSG).
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Thank you for reading. ©️ Frank Edem Adofoli